Her Beautiful Mind Read online

  “And, yes, I enjoyed it, and it was good, but it was business. And then there was Hudson and real business—programming and writing code and figuring out how to make something real and useful from my theories. It was business, business, business, always business.

  “But you know what happened while I was taking care of business, Liam?” My fury has suddenly run its course, and I plop myself down on the table’s bench, staring at the ground below me. “Do you know what happened? I forgot to take care of me, Liam … I forgot to take care of me.”

  He takes a seat beside me, reaching over to take one of my shaking hands in his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  But I shake him off, ignoring his apology. I’m still too angry, my emotions too raw. I can feel tears pricking my eyes, and they only make me more upset. No more tears, I promised myself. With a shuddering sigh, I lean back against the tabletop, then turn and face my worried cousin.

  “I tried so hard to fit in. Changed the way I spoke, the way I dressed, the way I ate, and what I thought. But by doing so, I lost who I was—who I am. I lost me, Liam.”

  My cousin’s dear face reflects the sorrow and regret in my own. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, didn’t understand. But—”

  Once again, I interrupt what I know is going to be another plea for me to return home with him. “Something happened yesterday. Something wonderful and magical, and I want you to listen to me until I’m finished, okay?”

  Liam cocks his head, studying me closely. “Wonderful and magical?” he teases. “I thought you didn’t believe in magic?”

  Rolling my eyes at his pathetic attempt at humor, I once more ask him to listen to my story. “No interruptions.”

  When he nods in agreement, I begin telling him about meeting No Filter and Curly Dan and the instant friendship we developed. I describe the hidden hollow we hiked through. The luminescent fog, the brilliant, glowing green of each leaf, the magnificent old oak with its white blaze, the doe with her too-early fawn, and the brief moment when I wished for a unicorn, or wood nymph, or fairy to appear.

  I express my delight at finding the meadow abloom with trilliums and the memories of Granny they invoked. And then I repeat No Filter’s favorite John Muir quote. “‘And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.’

  “That’s what happened to me yesterday, Liam. I let go of my mind. For once, I just existed and was happy. I didn’t think about algorithms or computer codes. I didn’t see the world around me as patterns and formulas. I didn’t worry about chaos and interruptions. I lost my mind, and with it, I lost all worry about the business I should be in New York taking care of. I lost my mind, and I started finding my soul.”

  The tears I’ve been trying to hold back are trickling down my cheeks. Liam reaches out with his thumb and gently wipes them away. “I’m sorry, cousin. I’m so sorry,” he whispers before hugging me to him. “What can I do to make this better?”

  Drawing away, I look up at him. “Don’t ask me to go back. I love Hudson, I always will, but I’ll never go back to New York. I need this hike. I need to find myself. And I have been thinking about the business, Liam. I truly have. I own the intellectual property rights to the math theories the whole system is based on. He can go to Italy with Gia, if it makes him happy. He can try to use our program if he wants to. It might take some legal work, but I can make it very difficult and very expensive for them to use any part of the program without my consent. And I have every intention of doing just that!”

  The biggest smile spreads across my cousin’s face, and then he begins to laugh, a deep, gut-busting, joyful laugh that fills the space around us. It’s impossible to ignore, and soon, we’re both wiping tears from our eyes as we grin at each other.

  “Oh, there’s the girl I remember,” Liam manages to choke out. “And that’s the badass, competent, woods-wise woman she grew up to be.”

  Chapter 15

  Cinderella at the Ball

  Date: Tuesday, March 18

  Starting Location: Deep Gap Shelter

  Destination: Plumorchard Shelter

  Total Trip Miles: 71.1

  If I thought getting away from Liam was going to be easy, I was sorely mistaken.

  After we both calm down a bit from my emotional outburst, after he agrees not to ask me to return to New York, and after he finally accepts I’m going to continue my hike, we begin discussing my options for resupplying. Liam volunteers to take me into town, either to the Blueberry Patch where Dan and No Filter are going, or to a hotel where I could get a room for myself. He even offers to get a room, too, so we can spend some time together, and he can give me a ride back to the trail tomorrow.

  For some reason, I have a hard time deciding what I want to do. Suddenly, I don’t want to leave the trail; I want to keep hiking. I need to be back in the woods. When I finally confess that’s what I really want to do, Liam tells me he probably has enough supplies in his truck to get me to Franklin, North Carolina, another forty miles on the trail. Apparently, he always carries a week’s worth of food and supplies in his truck in case he and Emma decide to go camping or if he finds a hiker who needs some help. I suspect some of the homeless in the area towns probably benefit from Liam’s generosity, too.

  Having decided I’ll make use of his emergency supplies, I stand and start toward the parking lot, but Liam doesn’t follow me. Instead, he continues to sit at the table. I watch him fidget, shifting his body, glancing from side-to-side, and then back to me, running his hands through his hair. It is so unlike him. I know something is still bothering him and our discussion isn’t over yet. Finally, I sit down across from him, and demand he tells me what’s going on.

  He continues to shift around uneasily before finally confessing he still needs to talk to me about something.

  “What is it, Liam? Just spit it out, okay?”

  Nodding, he takes a deep breath before focusing on me. “Tell me about Gia and what happened your last night in New York. Tell me why you think Hudson is engaged to her and they’ve been living together for two years.”

  Anger sparks at his request. “Why?” I demand.

  My cousin raises his hands in supplication. “Just trust me, please. I just need to talk this through with you.”

  Scowling at him, I finally nod, resigned to finishing what he came here to talk about.

  “You’ve known him for what, almost six years now, and he’s been my friend for over two. Does any of this—the engagement, living together, stealing the business—sound like the Hudson we know? He’s always been an upstanding guy. I like him. You just said you love him. Does this sound like something he would do? Does it?”

  Liam has a point. I’ve looked for patterns in Hudson’s behavior, tried to understand how and why, but I’ve only become more confused than ever. Conceding he may have a point, I nod for him to continue.

  “So, let’s focus on Gia. Do you remember when you first met her?”

  Frowning, I concentrate, trying to remember when I was introduced to her. “I think … I think it was at the fancy charity ball his parents sponsor every year. Yes, yes, it was. Remember three years ago? I sent you a picture.

  “Hudson invited me the previous year, but I was too nervous to go. That year, he persuaded me to go with him. He promised to stay by my side and said it would be a chance for me to meet some of the people who were investing in our company. He told me I needed to get used to hobnobbing with the ‘rich and famous’ because we were going to be very rich and very famous someday.” I chuckle softly at the memory.

  “I went to his parents’ penthouse to get ready for the party. His sister, Kathryn, was there as well as a makeup artist, a hairdresser, a manicurist, and a personal shopper with a rack of evening dresses and accessories to choose from. You know, Liam”—I turn to my cousin with a wry smile—“it’s true. The rich really are different from the rest of us
.”

  He answers me with a chuckle of his own.

  “Although I was dreading the afternoon, it turned out to be a lot of fun. There was champagne, fancy hors d’oeuvres, and a lot of pampering. It was the girls-only, getting-ready-for-the prom, mother and daughter bonding that I never experienced. I remember wishing Granny could have been there.”

  “You looked so beautiful and so happy in the photo.”

  “I was. I felt like Cinderella with her Prince Charming all evening.” My mind wanders to the lovely peach silk dress the stylist picked for me, the soft, loose waves of my hairdo, and the sight of Hudson in his tailored tuxedo.

  “And you met Gia that night?” Liam interrupts my musing.

  “Yes, she and her parents were seated at the Calders’ table. Kathryn introduced her as a family friend she grew up with.”

  “Did you get the impression Hudson was interested in her or had some type of history with her?”

  “No, thinking about it now, he didn’t have much to say to her. In fact, I remember he was a bit rude when she spoke to him. I thought it was because she was a few years older than him and was actually Kathryn’s friend.”

  “How did she act toward you?”

  “Polite but cool. I think she dismissed me fairly quickly as someone who wasn’t worth her time.”

  “When did you see her again?”

  “Liam. Is this really necessary? What good is it going to do talking about all this now? They’re engaged. She’s living in his condo.” Frustrated with his interrogation, I start to stand, but he grabs my hand.

  “Please, a few more questions. Okay?”

  “All right.” I huff, plopping back down on the bench. “Make it quick.”

  “When did you see Gia again?”

  “It wasn’t until we started serious negotiations with Italia. I knew she worked there. Vincent Cattaneo is her uncle, and the whole family is involved in the business, but I hadn’t seen her before then. I … Oh …”

  Something I’d forgotten, a memory I’d tucked away and conveniently refused to think about rears its ugly head, nagging at me to remember.

  “What is it?” Liam stares at me intently. “Where did you just go?”

  “It was a year later, time for the charity ball, and I thought maybe we would go again. Despite my nervousness, we actually had fun the year before. By the time the evening was over, he’d somehow persuaded me to dance with him. Me dancing. Can you believe it?” Shaking my head, I smile sadly at my cousin.

  “But he didn’t mention it, and I finally asked if we were going. He stuttered a bit, and then mumbled something about having to go out of town for the weekend. I didn’t question him. The financials for the business were a little shaky, and I knew he’d been busy with investor meetings and was stressed. I didn’t want to push.”

  When I stop, staring at the weathered tabletop between us, Liam takes one of my hands in his, prompting me to finish my story. “What happened? What are you not telling me?”

  With a resigned sigh, I continue. “The Times ran a huge article about the fundraiser in their Sunday section. There were lots of photos. Hudson was in one of them. He was talking to Vincent Cattaneo, and Gia was standing next to him. She was smiling at him, and they were holding hands.”

  The tears I thought were gone are back, filling up my eyes and threatening to spill over. Taking a deep breath, I swallow them down before I finish. “I never told him I saw the picture. I pretended nothing happened, and he never mentioned it. It was two years ago, probably about the time they would have gotten engaged and she moved in with him.

  “I was such a coward, Liam. If I’d said something, anything. If I’d only called him on his lie, none of this would have happened. Poor … pathetic … stupid … hillbilly Ariella. I wonder if they laughed about it.”

  “That damned, lying, motherfucking, son-of-a-bitch.”

  While I stare at the woods around us, lost in my memories, my cousin sits across the table from me and curses Hudson to all kinds of living hell.

  Chapter 16

  No Fairy Tale Princess

  Date: Tuesday, March 18

  Starting Location: Deep Gap Shelter

  Destination: Plumorchard Shelter

  Total Trip Miles: 71.1

  My conversation with Liam lasted most of the afternoon. He wanted to know everything that happened on my last day in New York. What did Vincent Cattaneo actually say when he announced Hudson was accepting a position with them? Where was Gia, and what was she doing during the announcement? Why didn’t Susan and I follow the executives to the reception? He wanted every detail.

  I closed my eyes, trying to picture the scene in my mind, describing what I’d seen, heard, felt.

  Applause filled the room as Hudson finished the last of his comments and began taking questions from the audience. Susan and I were sitting at the rear of the room, watching everything, when she leaned over, whispering in my ear. “He did an amazing job, Ariella.”

  “Yes, he did,” I concurred, smiling back at her. “He’s always amazing.” Memories from the night before and the shower that morning widened my grin as I heard her chuckle softly. It’s impossible not to admire how comfortable and at ease he is in front of an audience.

  Years of elite boarding schools, skiing trips to the Alps, summers in the Hamptons, and extensive world travel had prepared him for the role he’s now filling. It doesn’t hurt that he’s astonishingly handsome. Blessed by good genes, good health, and good tailoring, Hudson is the epitome of what most people think a Harvard-educated, MBA-trained, business leader should look and act. It’s not hard to understand why his parents have political aspirations for him. “And,” I thought smugly to myself in that moment, “he’s all mine.”

  The questions over, Vincent Cattaneo joined Hudson at the podium. Several other executives stood around them, including Gia, who wrapped her arm around Hudson’s. An uneasy feeling twisted my stomach, but my attention was focused on Vincent, who began by thanking Hudson and his staff for the informative presentations. I listened in astonishment as he announced that Hudson had accepted the newly created position of President of International Security and, after his move to Italy, would begin the immediate installation of the new software program. He ended his remarks by inviting everyone to a celebratory reception to honor Hudson and welcome him to the company. Then, he turned and ushered everyone off the stage where they were joined by more executives before exiting through a side door.

  I stood on tiptoe, craning my head and moving from side to side, desperately trying to see what was happening. For a moment, the crowd shifted, and I could see Hudson. He pulled his arm away from Gia before placing his hand at the small of her back and guiding her through the open doorway in front of them. The movement was all Hudson, all gentleman. I’ve had his hand on my lower back so many times; I can almost feel it now. His hand there always made me feel protected and cherished.

  Seeing him touch Gia in that way made me lightheaded, and I sat down quickly, grabbing the edge of the seat to keep my balance. I lost sight of them as the rest of the attendees began to exit the room.

  Susan and I were left sitting there, both of us staring in bewilderment at the empty room. The uneasy feeling had exploded into an overwhelming nausea, making me gasp in pain as I turned to her for an explanation. “What did Vincent mean? Did he say Hudson was leaving?”

  She took my hands, trying to calm me. “It’s okay,” she reassured me. “The papers he brought over and you signed yesterday evening closed all the loopholes we found in your partnership contract with Hudson and the investors. Even if he wanted to, he can’t steal your part of the business. You’re protected. Please, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

  And then I told her Hudson did come to my apartment. I told her about everything we did, but none of it involved signing any papers.

  “Oh
, dear,” she mumbled to herself when I finished. “Okay, this is what we’re going to do,” she said after a couple of long, silent minutes. “We’re going to march into the reception and demand to speak to him. We’re going to get this all straightened out, and I promise you, Ariella, everything is going to be all right. I’m not going to let him or Italia get away with cheating you out of your share of the business.”

  She was facing me then, all righteous anger and determination, but I couldn’t go with her into that room. The thought of seeing all those strangers caused the bile to rise in my throat. Clamping a hand over my mouth, I rushed from the room, desperately seeking an escape from the panic threatening to overwhelm me.

  I could hear Susan calling to me as I ran out the front doors of the building, tripping and falling my way to the street to hail a cab. I slid into the backseat of the closest one and gasped out my address. When I heard her voice again, I turned and looked out the back window. She was standing in the middle of the front steps, holding one of my shoes, watching my taxi pull away. It was then I realized I was wearing only one shoe and must have left the other behind me when I fell down the steps. The whole thing struck me as ironic, and I laughed hysterically even as tears filled my eyes. Like Cinderella, I was running from my Prince Charming. And just like Cinderella, I’d been to a ball where I didn’t belong. Unlike a fairytale princess, however, I didn’t see a happy ending in my future.

  Liam is quiet when I finish my story. He’s been slowly assembling a lunch for us as I talked about the meeting, and we eat in companionable silence before he asks if that was the reason I chose Ella as a trail name. I laugh before confessing Dreamer gave me the name on top of Springer when she misunderstood Ariella. “It seemed like an appropriate choice,” I tell him.